Ethical Dilemma #1

So I'm riding the S-Bahn from downtown Hamburg to our suburb, when three guys board. They start to speak in American English, and it becomes clear that one is from the States, one is from Romania, and the other from another European country. At first, I'm thrilled to hear my native language, for I can eavesdrop and maybe even join in the conversation. They appear to be in their late 20s or early 30s, and are participating in some cultural exchange program.

However, the talk soon turns south. The American brings up the topic of strip clubs. Every third work was "m****r f****n" this, or "b***h, or some other profanity. Soon the topics become racist and misogynistic, about the size of African American penises, how disgusting Mexican strippers are, or what he would do for a lap dance from the cute girl in his English class.

Did I mention that this conversation was broadcast in a LOUD voice? German culture values discretion and personal space in public places. On German trains, riders talk in low voices, unless they are coming home drunk from the St. Pauli football game, and then they sing, talk about the team, or talk with everyone on board, most of whom have been to the game. This trip, however, was at 4 in the afternoon on a day where there was no football game. Additionally, it's not uncommon for passengers to shush riders who talk too loud or whose music reverbrates through the train. I remember an article in the San Francisco Chronicle that cited a London Underground driver stating that the Americans on board are probably too noisy and should quiet down. This promted an outcry in the States, but I see the driver's point. I really did not want to hear about what was smeared on the front of this guy's shirt at the Oklahoma strip club, or how he referred to women in general.

The other Europeans with whom he travelled laughed, but did not add their own stories. They replied in general comments, which kept the conversation going (like ha ha, oh yuck, how strange).

So here's the dilemma: do I say something? This guy is in a foreign country, and to some extent, representing Americans. He's perpetuating racist and sexist views. He's broadcasting his views so all can hear, peppered with profanity. Does he not realize that others can hear him, and that his rudeness is appalling? Is this what America wants to export? What cultural messages are being transmitted? Do I have a responsibility to say something? Do I have a responsibility to respect his views, no matter how offensive they might be?

I don't know. If I had to go back and relive the experience, I might quietly talk to him and remind him that others are around, can understand, and are offended. But it brings up the question of territory--when does one have the moral authority to call another on vulgarities? Do I have more of a right to do so because we both are American, or do I have less because I am in another land?

Moving In

Our bed arrived!

This may sound petty to folks who are reading this from a comfortable perch on the sofa or in a familiar office environment, but for us globetrotters whose immediate wordly possessions fit into four suitcases and whose pregnant backs adjusted to air mattresses and hide-a-beds, the sight of our own bed never looked so good.

For six weeks, Dan and I lived out of four suitcases (three, really, as one was for Miss Sophie's things) as our stuff sailed in a container from Oakland, CA, to Hamburg, Germany. We cheered when the doorbell rang at 7:30 AM, and the driver said that our container would arrive at 8 AM. In true German punctual form, the doorbell rang again right at 8, no sooner, no later. Team Relocation lit their cigarettes, got to work, and within a two hours, off-loaded scores of boxes.

JRR Tolkien might have visited Germany, for the Hobbits, like the Germans, take a second breakfast around 10 AM. I dashed to the bakery to pick up some coffee, doughnuts and salami sandwiches for the crew--my first time driving the car solo! We all sat outside in the patio and enjoyed a coffee break. Then, the five-man crew went for a second smoke break in the front of the house, and continued to offload our stuff.

Team Relocation and Storke Movers were fantastic. They reassembled every bit of furniture, placed it wherever we wanted, even if that meant moving it several times throughout the house, and unpacked every box (except the ones we insisted stay packed). When the crew left at 5, our house was functional. We just needed to purchase a few things, like bathroom cabinets, rugs, and lamps. :-) And, they will recycle all those empty cardboard boxes next week.