Sophie Photos

Here's what you've really wanted. Photos of Sophie. Some of the pix are from our trip to Colorado in August, others in California, others here in HH. I know I've piled on a lot of writing, and thank you to folks who've read the postings and commented.

The catch is that the photos are surrounded by Sophie stories. Hee hee hee.

She likes to play with other children. Her cousin Ayan visited, and they got along fabulously. When she says her prayers at night, she says "thank you for..."and names the children she played with that day.

We've been waiting for today's milestone: Sophie told us with words that her diaper needed changing. Not that I couldn't smell it, but still exciting. We were riding the bus, and she looked at me with those big blue eyes and said, "Sophie has a wet diaper! Take off the old, put on the new." Oh man, if only we could. I wanted to reinforce her confidence and change the diaper right then and there, but it's a little impossible on public transit, especially the clean Hamburg busses. She didn't want to sit down (smart girl!), so she knelt on my lap for the 10 minute ride home. Hoping that this communication continues. Neither of us want to keep doing diaper checks. She's too old and proud for that kind of privacy invasion.

Sophie likes to go to the tropical aquarium (click for a link). It's wonderful. Since it's a tropical aquarium, there are animals from all over the tropics in interesting habitats. Lots of plants. It's warm (perfect for those cold winter days), and smells like Hawaii. You enter into a Caribbean house with Lorikeets and Ring-Tailed Lemurs. Then we go past the turtles and pythons to the mongoose. Sophie like to see the Nile Crocodiles, the leaf-cutter ants, and the green treefrogs. As she says, "we saw treefrogs munching on a leaf!" We tromp through the mine past the bats and spiders (yikes!) through the cave with the green snakes and bats (squeak!) to the submarine with portholes to a deep water exhibit. Then we go to the tropical reef and have a snack while looking at all the colorful fish. She says she wants to learn how to snorkle and swim in the reef. We hang out a while, then visit the sea horses, the jelly fish, and then go to the big auditorium where one gigantic wall is a deep water exhibit with sharks, mackerel, rays and more. Love it. If you visit us and the weather is cruddy, we'll go.

Autumn

Autumn arrived in Hamburg with the grace of a new-fallen leaf. Colors, colors everywhere. The days are crisp and cold, the mornings foggy, the mid-afternoon skies blue. The sun doesn't fully awaken until after 8 am, and it's getting dark earlier. Yet the days hold the warmth of the sun, and late afternoons are perfect for being out in the fresh air.

Sophie and I are ready for an explore. Long coats, scarves, hats and rainboots on, we tromp to the apple tree in the backyard to pick a fruit. Recently, the night temperature hovered around freezing, and this cold snap gave the fruit a jolt of flavor. Sophie spots an apple, and I lift her up so her little hands grasp it. With a tug, it's off, and after a cursory glance for worm-holes, she tries take the first bite. The skin is thick, so she hands it to me. I bite into the fruit flesh. A kiss of cold greets my lips, then sweetness. Something inside me awakens. Greedily, I want more, and crunch into the fruit again. Sophie looks up, big blue eyes appraising the situation, hands outstretched. She knows that Mom's got something good, and takes a nibble, then a chunk. We pass the apple back and forth, enjoying the flavors. I toss the core into the bushes. She tugs on her hat; I readjust it so it doesn't slide over her eyes. It's a game we play, something just for us.

We stop at the oak tree at the end of the walkway to collect acorns. The red squirrels won't mind, there's a buffet on our street alone. A dozen or so acorns go into the bucket. Then Sophie says, "Sophie in the bushes to pick Smashberries." She slips between some shrubs and tugs on a few remaining white round berries. She brings her quarry to the street, tosses them near her feet, and stomps them to smithereens with her right boot. Satisfied, she takes my hand, and we walk to the bridge.

"Trip, trap, trip, trap," Sophie and I sing as we approach the bridge. She takes the bucket, and places a handful of acorns on the wood railing. One by one, she tosses the acorns into the creek. "Satisfying plop!" she grins. We watch little twigs float in the water, and look for ducks. A spider wove a web connecting the bridge with a shrub. Pleased, Sophie takes my hand again, and we continue to the park.

Our little park is alive with wildness. Ruby rosehips glow on thornbushes, reminding us of summer's fiery heat. Leaves on the maple trees change almost before our eyes; the crown a dusty red, the mid-section a swirl of golds and greens, the lower branches cling to their fading green glory. Gone are the plums, marillens and blackberries. A duck waddles across the grass, and brown birds hop around a new patch of mushrooms. The blue sky is clear today.

Sophie dashes to the slide. I watch her climb, remembering that not so long ago, this same girl dared to play only in the sandbox, only on the rocking donkey, only on the carousel with Papa. Now she climbs to the top of the slide, tucks her feet under her, and zips down, bold and confident. She knows what to do.

A gust of wind sets loose a flurry of yellow leaves, and tickles my cheeks. My baby is no longer a baby. She's started preschool. She stirs the batter when we bake cookies, and holds her own cup of milk when she eats. She's figured out that some sounds are words, and words have meaning, and if she says "please", she'll probably get what she wants. She has her own thoughts and opinions, and wants to share them. She can spend time away from home, with other children, and thrive. As summer flowed into autumn, Sophie left infancy and has taken her first steps towards independence. Now it's my job to step to the side a bit so she can grow.

"Mama!" Sophie shrieks with a grin. I squat, arms outstretched, and she run as fast as she can into them. We hug and rock side to side. I kiss her head. She snuggles in, pauses, then wriggles away. "Come see!" she says, and takes my hand and leads me to the yellow leaves.

Catching Up

First, apologies for neither writing nor posting photos sooner. For the past 10 months, I've been in a different dimension, one that involved parenting an active child, traveling for extended time to the US and then back to Germany for Dan's work, supporting from afar my Dad's recovery from cancer, and figuring out what our next steps are as a family (i.e. where are we going to live). Toss in a little vacation, and now it's October 2010.

So after not writing for what seems like forever, here's a first draft of what's on my mind.

Sophie started German preschool this week. She was ready. Bored with spending the day with just me, she would ask if we could play with other children—yes, she speaks in complete sentences in English and German. So we’d go to the park in pursuit of sandboxes and other children. When unsuspecting toddlers were spotted digging in the sandbox, Sophie would slink up to them, and begin to play with their sand toys. Pity the toddler that tried to reclaim whatever tool Sophie wanted: she then waved her arms, stomped her feet and shouted, "No! No! Weg! Shoo!" Sharing is a tricky concept for a 22 month-old.

In Germany, many young children go to a Tagesmutter, a sort of Daycare Mom meets Preschool. The Tagesmutter takes pedagogy courses, is registered and paid through the government, and cares for up to 5 children a day in her home. They eat together, play together, go on little field trips to playgrounds or the Zoo…and learn what the basic rules of socialization are and how to share. It's a gentle first step toward independence.

Tagesmutters vary in approach and personality. The first one Sophie adored, but her house had a funny smell in the basement…that sort of mildewy what’s-growing-under-the-carpet smell. The next was a German grandma-hippie, strict yet eccentric and creative. Too bad there was a waiting list, as the art projects looked fun. The third was mellow….so much so that she only got up off the park bench after two kids got stuck climbing the chain-link fence surrounding the soccer field…and her house has looked like a construction zone since we moved to Hamburg two years ago…perhaps the garden will be finished by the time Sophie graduates high school. While I’m sure they are perfectly well-qualified, none was the right match for Sophie.

And then we found Helena, a loving, playful yet firm Tagesmutter, with a clean house and big garden with lots of places that are fun for small children. Sophie was enthralled by the sandbox, veggie garden, swing and slide, rocks and stones, and endless variety of flowers.

What impressed me the most was 1) how happy the other children seemed, 2) how polite, inclusive and well-mannered they were while maintaining their zest for life, and 3) how Helena combined her advanced studies of early childhood education with her own joy of young children. It's sort of a preschool-meets-family setting. The children eat together at a big table; dance, tumble and play in the living room; and happily go outside to the garden or park. Helena plays games with them, like Memory, and structures the day with periods of intense play followed by down time. They learn to say “please” and “thank you”, and how and when to wash their hands. Everything is geared towards supporting Little People’s individual growth within a cooperative group setting.

The first day I just observed and interacted with Sophie, explaining what was going on. She seemed to catch on quickly to the rhythms and flow of the group. The next day I shadowed her, being there when needed. She was excited to play with “our group.”

Today was the hard day. When it was time for me to leave so she could fly solo, Sophie cried and cried, didn't want me to go. But what could I do? I gave her a kiss, told her I was going to the store and I’d be back, and, armed with the mobile phone, slipped out. I thought I’d wait for 20 minutes, then call Helena. Those were the longest 20 minutes, and Helena called first saying that all was well, Sophie cried by the door and then the other kids brought her their toys and everyone played by the door for a while. She danced with the kids, happily went out in the garden, and had accepted Helena and the others as her group.

What a relief. I promptly let out a sigh and then burst into tears, Our little girl is growing up. After being side by side for 31 months (22 months plus in utereo), she was stepping out on her own. Our rhythm has changed. She’s claiming a new part of her identity and reality. It’s time for me to do so for myself.

When Dan and I came to pick her up, Sophie was still eating at the table. We waited in the hallway where we could hear her, but she couldn’t see us. She chirped, and commented on how yummy the food tasted, giggled with the other children, and seemed sooo happy. When she had finished and was excused from the table, she saw us, and ran straight into our arms with the biggest smile, and dragged us into the living room to meet her new friends and play with the new toys.

On Monday morning we go back. We’re starting with four mornings a week, come home at nap time. While Sophie might need some time to learn how to play with others in a sandbox, this is a good beginning.

"TV" time for Sophie, or, fun German Youtube videos

Sophie has discovered the computer.

Actually, she learned about the computer when she was three months old. She would lay on the sofa next to Dan while he was scrambling to answer work e-mails. Now, at 22 months, she knows that the keys have meaning, and that you go to Firefox, then Bookmarks, then Sophie Websites to get to some fun stuff.

She's going to grow up with technology. Even though I wanted to wait until she was older, say five or six, until she got screen time, the reality is that the computer is part of our lives. Better to introduce it to her slowly and teach her how to use it. The cell phone is another story; not gonna happen (so says Mama now...).

This has also meant that we get to surf Youtube for cool stuff...some oldies but goodies, some new and sassy...and much of it is too fun to keep to ourselves (and the millions of other viewers who visit these sites). It's also given us a slice of German culture. So...click on the links, turn up the volume and enjoy.

Gummibear: Move over, Bob the Builder. This dancing little Gummybear is rockin', cute, and hipper than Haribo could imagine. Sophie flirts back. He sings in several languages. Here's the German version: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLTWTKpP7g0&feature=fvw

Sesame Street, German style: Quick, how does the US version of the theme song go? It's all about sunshine and playing with friendly neighbors. The German version goes something like this: Der, die, das, who, how, what, how so, how does it work, why, who doesn't ask stays ignorant. Talk about transmitting, uh, different cultural values! We love it. The background looks a lot like Altona, a neighborhood in Hamburg, and the production studio is down the street from us....Sesamstrasse. This second clip has bubbles--fun!

Auf der Schwabsche Eisebahn: Only southern Germans could mix a cartoon donkey and monkey riding a train with techno music and all sorts of crazy camera angles. I wonder what this will do to Sophie's dreams...oh yeah, the donkey's name is Pferdle and the monkey's name is Affle, and they used to appear before and after commercials on the Schwabsche public television.DJ Mix Schwabsche Eisebahn When Sophie wants something more mellow, we switch to the more traditional version, which photos of the actual trains. Sophie really, really likes this melody; she asks me to sing it and she dances in circles. Is she pretending to be a train, or that she is riding the train?

Sophie claps to If You're Happy and You Know It. The boy in blue with glasses can dance! This video has links to her other faves, like Old MacDonald, the ABC song, and Barney.

Sophie does NOT get to watch Beinhart the Rocker, but I do. He's a motorcycle riding, beer drinking, police eluding hooligan. The people in the video are the band members of Torfrock who sing the song. Dengl, dengl, dengl, dengl...

And although she is an expert co-pilot when we drive on the Autobahn, she has not learned about Kraftwerk's Autobahn song. The blue background is the Autobahn symbol. Kraftwerk is the granddaddy of electronica, and this fabulous song is based on the sounds heard on summer road trips. The chorus, "wir fahren auf der Autobahn" means "we drive on the freeway." If you don't like the video, just crank up the music and close your eyes. It's worth it.

This video of Hamburg meine Perle (Hamburg my pearl) shows a collage of photos of this beautiful city. As the two fellows who I shared a table with at the bakery said, "Berlin may be the country's capital, but Hamburg is the cultural capital." The song is also played at the start of HSV football games with a twist on the lyrics, basically why HSV is better than the other teams. You decide who you prefer, HSV or St. Pauli. I'm looking forward to going to a Sankt Pauli game this season for the energy, and HSV for the experience, and I'll let you know whose scarf will be waved.

I'm starting to like this city. A lot. I don't know how long we'll be her, but, wow, it is fun.