When will she arrive?

It's week 40 of the pregnancy. When will Sophie arrive? Today is the American due date; November 29 was the German due date. Today's doctor visit showed a healthy heartbeat and no signs of contractions. Sophie was sleeping. Sigh. Only she knows when she wants to come out....

Neither Dan nor I can quite grasp that in a matter of days we will be parents. Parents! That seems like a tremendous responsibility. We still eat breakfast in bed, read the comics (albeit on-line) and enjoy snuggling together for hours. "Parents" sounds so grown-up and organized--not the kind of people who spontaneously go biking or book a cheap flight to Spain. "Parents" can be the folks who teachers both love and dread. They check on homework, volunteer in the classroom, insist on excellence...or not. "Parents" impact their child's life in profound ways. Some for better, some for worse. I hope that we'll be in the "for better" category.

I know that Sophie will bring us so much joy, for she already has. Dan's eyes sparkle a little brighter, and his smile is a little deeper. Our hearts are open and warm. I also know that there will be challenges--we've made it through countless hormonal mood swings (preparation for adolescence?), middle of the night bathroom trips, and lethargy. Is all this preparation for the new arrival?

Looking beyond all these questions, I feel a deep excitement. A little one will join our family. A sweet spirit will be part of our lives forever. We're going to do our best, and we'll grow together as she teaches us what she needs to thrive and we provide the support for her to do so. She's part of Dan and part of me, yet she is greater than the sum of her parts. She is Sophia Marie Rolles.

We're going to be parents! :-) Whenever you are ready, Little One, we are ready for you.

Our song for Sophie:
"Come Sophia, live your vision. Share your wisdom dwelling deep within."

Weiuhnachtsmarkts--The Christmas Markets

Germany embraces Christmas. It's wonderful. First of all, I feel liberated to even be able to say the "C" word (as if my closeted Jewish Grandma doesn't know what's behind all those "Happy Holidays" cards sent in December, complete with snow, stars and Santa...).

Yesterday, my parents, Dan and I went to one of the city's celebrated Christmas markets. My doctor said we should go enjoy one before Sophia is born...so we did. Wow! Picture little wooden huts decorated with evergreen boughs, red bows, and lots of little white lights. Artisans sell homemade and commercial wares, from traditional wooden toys and spoons to contemporary glass candleholders and jewelry. There's the cookie hut, with fantastic Lebkeuchen (German gingerbread covered in chocolate...mmmm), sugar-roasted almonds, and marzipan treats (so luscious!). There are Wurst huts with all sorts of sausages that taste amazingly good in the cold weather, and the drink huts with Gluhwine (like glogg) and Kinderpunch (the non-alcoholic cousin). My parents were mesmerized by watching kids ride the carousel. Perhaps they were day dreaming about Sophie and next year....

The best part? It's non-commercial. No Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer, no Santa Claus, no Wal-Mart specials. There's no pressure to actually purchase anything, for part of the Christmas Market is the experience of just being there.

Now that I'm living closer to the Arctic Circle, I have a new appreciation for light. Candles, fires, the little white lights that shine in windows--these fiery illuminations bring joy to my heart. It's DARK here! I'm writing this at 4pm, when there's na'er a trace of sunlight to be found. No wonder the Nordic and Teutonic folk celebrated with bonfires, cookies and hot alcohol; a person needs something hospitable to keep herself going through winter.

The Christmas markets provide a wonderful kind of warmth--the essence of the human spirit. As we sipped our hot chocolate and munched on fried doughnuts covered in powdered sugar, I felt happy and alive. We're together. Our baby will be born soon. The sun will shine again. Some foods just taste better in the snow, and some songs need to be sung every year. It took moving half-way around the world to experience the best Christmas present of all.